While in Sunday school, (the 20 minutes that I actually got thanks to my wiggly Jocelyn girl) they were talking about judging others. Why we shouldn't; why it is wrong; why we are supposed to love others; why we don't know someone else's circumstances, etc. This was a great discussion, and then it turned to raising our children.
"We need to teach our children not to judge", and then, someone added, "We need to remember not to judge our children for their mistakes..." This hit me. I know I don't judge my children for their mistakes but I do get affected by them. That same person went on to say, "and that's why I don't get mad at my children when they make mistakes." Okay, so that hit me even harder.
Do I get mad at my children when they make mistakes?
Yes.
I get mad when they spill, and I have to clean it up. I get mad when they dump out toys and then don't even play with them. I get mad when they don't put their dirty clothes in their hampers. I get mad when they don't put their shoes away. I get mad when they manage to color on my dress/skirt while at church with a crayon, color pencil, pencil, pen, marker, or even lip gloss. I get mad when they stain their brand new shirt that they have had on for 7 minutes. I get mad when they hit, kick, smack, punch, tackle, lick, yes I said lick, each other. I get mad when I ask them to do something more than once, than crazy mad when I've asked 3 times and they still haven't done it. I am pretty sure I get mad, often.
This scene took place in the time it took me to brush my teeth upstairs.
This discussion weighed on my mind all day. It weighed on my mind because the guilty take the truth to be hard. Really hard. Should I be getting mad?
Later that night, we watched a message on Mormon Channel that was fitting for my thoughts from the day, of course. It was one that my girl picked, and somehow we had never seen before. It was called Moments that Matters Most. It was exactly what I needed again to hear. I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father was there helping my girl choose that exact message, just for me. It confirmed what I had heard and pondered from the discussion in Sunday School earlier that day.
Are these things that get me so angry really mistakes that my kids are making (over and over again) or are they just kids? Is there an actual logical reason for me to get so upset? Should I get so worked up over such little thing? Should I let these little behaviors drive me crazy, when they are still only 6, 4, and 1? Have I ever made little mistakes like this in my life, only to commit again later on? Should I be so irrational?
No. I shouldn't. I absolutely shouldn't. I need to chill out. I need to be more like the better parents in my Sunday School class who said, "I don't get mad at my children when they make mistakes."
My Heavenly Father doesn't get so angry at me when I make the same dumb mistakes time and time again. (And I'm not just talking about not putting my shoes away either.) He loves me and wants me to know that He always will love me. He knows that I will make mistakes, and that's okay. He wants me to be better, but he is NEVER mad at me, when I fail.
So, clearly I should not get upset when my kids make mistakes. I should be patient, loving, and kind. I should try to help them, teach them, and love them. I should deep breathe, then help them, teach them, and love them.
Our Heavenly Father sets the ultimate parenting example of love and patience. I need to remember these important words that I heard in Sunday School and on that simple Mormon Message.
"I don't get mad at my children when they make mistakes."
And,
"We would do well to slow down a little, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most."
I needed to write this so I will remember. I now will have my own words to look back on from time to time to remind me to chill out, enjoy my babies, stop freaking out, and truly focus on what is REALLY important. To enjoy what really matters most.
This post was started two weeks ago. somehow I haven't had a chance to finish it until now. Oh well, at least it is done now. Here is another great message, that I just saw today.
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