Why

I don't get it.

I wanted for so long to be a mom.

I wanted to be the best mom.

And I know, I know. There are worse moms.

But today. I swear, as much as I love my children, I wondered why Heavenly Father blessed me with them.

Because, they were so rotten.

Fighting over everything. Touching each other. Annoying each other. Not sharing. Tantrum throwing. Being ungrateful. Asking for more.

You get it.

And, it's not like I don't know how to be a mom.

Oh wait. I freaking don't.

I don't know what the crap I'm doing. And I've been doing it for the last 9 years plus.

After today, I'm doing it wrong. Way wrong.

I thought I've taught them manners. I thought I've taught them how to share. I thought I've taught them how to be kind and loving. I thought I've taught them to be respectful of each others things and personal space. I thought I've taught them to be appreciative for the many things they have, because they are truly blessed.

But, alas. After today, I was clearly wrong. Way wrong.

Good thing tomorrow is a new day. And I get to try harder at being a mom. Being the best mom for these three freaking babes.

Here's to the next time I ask myself, "Why?"