Larry, the Lutheran

This afternoon, we dropped off some treats.

Some treats that were long overdue.



Jocelyn totally invited herself in like she owns the joint. "I just love his house momma. His couch has crackly plastic on it, remember?" (We didn't go in this afternoon, but she remembers from back in September when we did.)

He thanked us again for our plant back in December, the treats today, and for always thinking of him.



He was so happy to see us, even if we are Mormon.
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This is just a little talk I shared at our church back in December that explains the title a little more.


 December 10, 2017

Inviting Others

Good afternoon brothers and sisters. I should probably say that we are happy to be speaking here in sacrament, but I teach my children that it is important to always tell the truth. So, yeah. It is our first time speaking in your ward and I am assuming I should do the obligatory family breakdown of our little Westra Clan.

My Sugar is Scott, and that is probably the only time you will ever hear me call him by name. He is a Navy dentist that was born just across the water in a little town called Bellevue, WA. When the chance to make it back up here, where it is gray and raining most days arose, he hopped on it. I asked for Guam as out next duty station, because I love warm weather and the beach. But Bremerton was in our cards, and so far, we are liking it. Even if it has become gray and raining most days now.

My love for warmth is basically because of where I am from, Las Vegas, NV. Sin City is where I called home for most of my life, except for a brief stint at BYU where my Sugar and I fell in love. I’ll save the sappy details, as I am sure my oldest is probably rolling her eyes as I am saying this out loud.

We were later married in the Las Vegas Temple and all three of our babes were born there, in the desert. Afton is our oldest. She was baptized in March and has loved her time in activity days, when she gets to attend. She has a very busy schedule of school, ballet, and tumbling and hopes to add piano into the mix soon.

Jack is our boy and he is 7. He likes to be called John now, because he is getting older, and it breaks my heart a little bit. He loves to play sports – especially soccer and swimming, along with reading, drawing, creating origami animals, and building with Legos.

Jocelyn is our baby, even though she will be a Sunbeam the first of the year. She is shy at times, but filled with sass and a large vocabulary. She keeps me on my toes daily, and currently the cause of most of my headaches, but I love her still.

Our little family loves any time we get together and we are excited to have some fun adventures here in Washington.

That is not to say that we haven’t already had some fun adventures since moving here in July. We have had fun getting out enjoying our new home. Seeing the sites, exploring the trails, skipping rocks along the cold beaches.

Another thing we have done as a family, and mostly because of my childrens’ persistence, is to take treats to our neighbors. This was something we did regularly in Las Vegas, as we lived on a great street filled with wonderful people. They were kind, loving, watchful, caring, and I would like to add, not members of our church. Honestly, that didn’t matter.

When we moved to Yucca Valley, Ca last year we continued the tradition of taking treats to our neighbors. Which was a challenge as both houses next to us were empty, and the homes were on huge lots. But still, we took treats regularly as part of our family home evening. We were only there for 11 months, but we were able to share little bits of love from our family with them. I would like to add, that none of them were members of our church, and that didn’t matter.

When we arrived in Washington, I was feeling mostly angry and bitter at the world, as this move/home renovation was a challenge. Not quite neighborly, to say the least, but my kids knew the importance of loving our neighbors. They had been taught this important lesson since they were very young. I know, that usually when you move into a neighborhood, the established residents will bring over cookies to welcome the newest members on the street, but in this day and age, that is not very prevalent. And our little family doesn’t follow trends, we set them.

So, my children, forced us, to go take cookies to our neighbors, once our kitchen was finally complete with a floor, counters, and an oven back in place. During our first adventures out, we met a nice older gentleman, named Larry. He is a widow and seemed very happy to have some visitors just knock on his door one night. We met another sweet lady who lives with her daughter and her dog that “has broken legs,” as Jocelyn likes to say every time we go by their house. We met a son, who lives with his parents that was happy to receive cookies, but not really interested in chit chat. We met a young man, who lives with his girlfriend and parents. He happens to be a plumber and that is a great friend to have as home owners. He has been by a few times to help us out with some things, and we are thankful for him. We met an English lady who is sure our street is full of crime and most assuredly misses the previous home owner, and not quite a fan of children (which I have 3 fun-loving, noisy ones). I have never seen any of these neighbors at our ward, which leads me to suspect they are not members of our church. Which, to be honest, it doesn’t matter.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, because we have been asked to speak on how to achieve the ward goals of inviting 100 people to church along with passing out 100 Book of Mormons.

We moved here in late July and have dropped off treats probably 3 or 4 times to some of these sweet people. Just getting to know them little by little, being neighborly, becoming their friends. Being kind. Which this world needs a lot more of, kind people.

Of all of our neighbors that we have been lucky enough to know in our 14 years of marriage, guess how many have been baptized? Guess how many have asked to hear the missionary discussions? Guess how many have come and sat with us on these extra comfy pews at church? None. Does that make us failures? Does that make us feel like we aren’t doing our part to share the gospel with them and the happiness that it can bring? No. It most certainly does not.

In an Ensign 2012 article that was shared by Stephanie J. Burns and Darcie Jensen, titled “Sharing the Gospel by Sharing You,” they stated some important things that confirm that my family is not a bunch of failures.

These ladies touched on the fact that sharing the gospel comes easy for some, but for others – like myself-, it is more of a challenge. They suggested that we should, “become more converted to the gospel—as individuals—and let the example of our lives and our friendly conversation open the way. The more converted we become, the more comfortable we are with our religion, and we begin to feel an increasing desire for others to enjoy the blessings of the gospel. When that happens, sharing comes more naturally.

In fact, we may not even realize we are sharing the gospel. As we increase the level of our faithful discipleship, the effect it has on our actions, speech, and even countenance will be difficult to ignore. “Your good works will be evident to others,” explains Elder Russell M. Nelson. “The light of the Lord can beam from your eyes. With that radiance, you had better prepare for questions.”¹

Let me add this. I am not a faithful disciple with radiating beams from my countless good works. I am just a simple believer, with many faults and issues, who tries her best to be a good person, to teach her children how to love their Savior, follow Him, and help share His love with others. Having said that, if I were to actually become this type of radiating beam like person, I think things would be so much easier to share the gospel.

In their talk they suggested 3 simple things to do to help invite others to hear about the gospel.

First, become a Living Testimony. “As we become more comfortable with the gospel’s influence in our lives, talking about that influence becomes easier both because we have things to talk about and because we can share what that message has done for us.”

They shared a story about a recent convert to the church. She said, “Spending time with members was all it took for her to become interested in the gospel. ‘The happiness they brought with them and the way I felt around them was undeniable,’ she shares. ‘They didn’t preach to me about God. It was simply in their very being: their lifestyle, their choices, their actions and reactions. When I looked at them, I said to myself, ‘That is how I want to live. That is where I want to be in life.’”

I know my neighbors see the crazy that resides in our home, because it is definitely hard to miss. But, THIS is what I have always hoped and continue to hope my neighbors feel when they see our family, are visited by us, or how they felt when they received a special little something from us. I hoped that we leave something with them that made them feel there is something special about us, because we do have something very special in our lives. The gospel of Jesus Christ.

Second, become Friends First. “Successful missionary opportunities are more likely to be found when members are just good, true friends with others. As Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “If we are open about our membership in the Church from the very beginning, … friends and acquaintances will accept that this is part of who we are.”⁴

Including the gospel in existing friendships rather than basing friendships on sharing the gospel can increase missionary successes.”

If I meet someone new, I do not instantly think, “Great, how can I swing it, so I can share the gospel with them to convert them?” Maybe some might think I should, but I don’t. I first get to know them. For who they are and build an actual friendship. Whether or not they are members of the church, is not important to me. What is important to me is that they can tell that I, myself, am a member of the church, that has no judgement on their life choices and decisions. I want them only to feel of my love and friendship for them, as that is how I believe our Savior would want me to treat them.

I remember when I was in high school, my young women leaders would always say things like, “Be careful who you choose to spend your time with. Make sure they have the same standards as you.” At first, I accepted what they had to say, because they were my leaders. I tried to listen and show respect for what I was being taught. But as my high school years went on, I began to see some fault in their logic. I recognized that I had a great deal of friends who were not members of the church. And there was nothing wrong with them. They did not make the best choices, but they never forced me to make those choices. In fact, some of my friends who were actual members of the church didn’t make the best choices either. But my non-member friends were clear of my beliefs, as was I. Peer pressure had never had an affect on me, so I was never put in a situation where I was uncomfortable. I understand that this is not always the case, so my advice is this, ere on the side of caution. Choose wisely who you spend time with, be it member or non-member. But be sure that you, yourself, are making the right choices so that others around you will respect your beliefs, and still feel loved by you, even if you don’t agree with what they are doing. President Russell M. Nelson said, “The Savior loves both saints and sinners.” And being a member of the church, does not make you a saint. Dieter F. Uchtdorf has taught us that we should not judge others because they sin differently from us. We should be friends, good friends, who love and strengthen one another. President Uchtdorf also said, “God will use you to make the lives of others better.” I believe this whole-heartedly and I try and teach this to my children daily.

The third thing these ladies suggested to help invite others to the gospel, was to Listen with Love. They said, “Friendships deepen as individuals share their experiences, emotions, and love. And love, of course, is a central part of the restored gospel.

We, as members of the Church, can express Christlike love by spending time with our friends—through activities, service, and conversation. In fact, many people are looking for just that kind of friend.”

When speaking on this topic Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “More important than speaking is listening. These people are not lifeless objects disguised as a baptismal statistic. They are children of God, our brothers and sisters, and they need what we have. Be genuine. Reach out sincerely. Ask these friends what matters most to them. … And then listen. … I promise you that something in what they say will always highlight a truth of the gospel about which you can bear testimony and about which you can then offer more.”⁵

Remember our neighbor Larry I spoke of earlier in the talk - the older gentleman, a widow, excited to have some people knock on his door just for a visit? Well, the other night for FHE, we passed out poinsettias to 3 of our neighbors with the little #lighttheworld card attached to it, and our name signed below. (Thank you sisters for having some extras for us to use.) Sadly, Larry was not home, but both my husband and I felt that we needed to leave one on his doorstep anyway. (Keep in mind we have plenty of other neighbors we could have shared this with.) Pleased with our work, we went home and thought nothing of it.

A few days later, in the mail we received a Christmas card from a person on our street. Used a stamp – sent it through USPS – when it easily could have placed at our door. It was from Larry.

In it he said, Merry Christmas. Thanks for the poinsettia. Signed Larry (the Lutheran).

My Sugar and I both laughed. This cute old man was making it clear that he had no interest in our Mormon propaganda! And guess what. That is okay. Our feelings were not hurt. We will not stop taking little treats to Larry. Because he is our friend. We have tried to get to know him, and we will continue to do just that.

Sister Burns and Sister Jensen went on to say, “We don’t need to bombard our friends with the gospel. We just need to be good friends and not be afraid to share gospel concepts when opportunities arise. Satan uses fear to attempt to prevent members from sharing testimony. This powerful emotion can be crippling. President Uchtdorf notes: “Some would rather pull a handcart across the prairie than bring up the subject of faith and religion to their friends. … They worry about how they might be perceived or how it might harm their relationship.” He continues, “It doesn’t need to be that way because we have a glad message to share, and we have a message of joy.”⁶

It is indeed a glad message, one filled with endless amounts of joy.

Brothers and sisters, I have not helped to invite 100 different people to church since moving here, and to the bishop, the members of this ward, I apologize. I am very much a goal-oriented person, so this is hard for me to admit. But, I have done these things that these ladies mentioned. I have tried to set a good example in my daily life, even though I know I falter. I have reached out to be a friend to those around us. Our interactions with our neighbors thus far have been brief, so not much “True listening” has occurred, but when the opportunity arises, I will listen. I pray for those opportunities and I know that my Heavenly Father will bless me with them. I also know that he will bless the lives of any of these fine people we just so happen to meet who are looking to hear of the happiness that this gospel can bring.