Patience

I am not dying. Well, I guess that is not true if you believe this...

The day you are born is the day you begin to die.

But that is a really morbid outlook, so whatever.

(Let's be more hopeful.)

But, as I sit here writing in perfect health, I feel like there are some things that I want to have on here - On this little blog thingy. I want these words on here for my kids to read. For my Sugar to read. For others to read at some point in time.

Why?

I don't know.

Just because.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring, and that's kind of.. well, another morbid outlook.
But sadly, true.

I want my family to know that I love them, love My Heavenly Father, and have a testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

So here is a talk I shared at church one Sunday a little while back on Patience at a time in my life when I couldn't be further from the word's meaning.




Still pretty funny to think about that I was asked to speak on this topic.

7-16-17

Good morning brothers and sisters.

I would like to share a few stories with you all this morning, our last Sunday morning here with you in the Onaga Trail Ward. We have loved our time here and will miss you all dearly. For the people in the stories I am about to share, I have changed the names of those involved to conceal their identities.

The first begins this way, “No Jacqueline, Mommy can’t open the princess umbrella right now. We are in the bathroom. No, the princess umbrella can’t be open in the car because it won’t fit with you and your car seat. Sorry love, but you can’t take a nap with the princess umbrella. Let’s just put the princess umbrella away until it actually rains, okay? No dear, no one is going to steal your princess umbrella when you sleep tonight. The princess umbrella needs to be put away nice and safe for now. Just because it is safe, does not mean that someone is going to try and steal it. Your princess umbrella is ok in the closet, I promise. In regards to the princes umbrella, I feel I have told you no and explained, and so please, it is time to listen.”

Sadly, she did not listen. There were still many pleas from Jacqueline concerning this princess umbrella.

Another day while driving, a boy named, Jacque was frustrated with his baby sister Jacqueline because she was in the car crying. She currently likes to have a fake cry about almost anything, but this specific cry was about an owie she had. He asked her annoyed, “Are you bleeding? No? well than, you don’t need a Band-Aid. That is just wasting. I feel like I have told you no and explained, and I am older so I kinda know what I am talking about, so now just listen.”

Sadly, she did not listen to her older brother, who was giving her adequate council. The mother just quietly laughed as she remembered that that same little boy had heard this information, time and time again when he was young that Band-Aids are for certain kinds of owies that are bleeding, not just for an invisible scratch, “that feels like my arm might fall off.”

Later that day, an older sister, we will call her Addyson, was in her room, doing older sister things, when a younger brother, Jacque came in much to her chagrin. He wanted to play anything with her, anything at all, but she was not interested. She asked him nicely to leave her room, and he ignored. He continued to pester until the mom heard Addyson scream from the other side of the house, “Look. I feel like I have said no and explained, so now you just need to freaking listen. Ugh, you are so annoying. GET OUT!!!!!”

Sadly, he did not listen. The older sister and younger brother were both faced to deal with the consequences that had now come to pass due to them putting their hands on each other to help express their anger and frustration.

Motherhood teaches you patience, because these are common occurrences in every household, every minute of every day. And if they aren’t then you need to let me, or, I mean, the mom in these stories know what the secret is.

Motherhood allows you to see all your faults and ways in which to help you improve, and quickly.

Motherhood lets you hear the things in which you have said time and time again to your children, regurgitated by their mouths to their siblings, friends, or others, so you had better make sure what you are saying is ok.

Motherhood teaches you patience.

There was a time when I was so impatient about being able to actually experience motherhood for myself. I would pray for the promises that were special for me in my patriarchal blessing to actually come to pass. I had prayed for feelings of comfort when I saw other mothers enjoying all that I felt I was being denied, as if I was being punished. I would pray for patience all the while being angry and bitter with my Heavenly Father.

In preparing for this talk, I found this quote by Robert D. Hales.

“Too often we pray to have patience, but we want it now.”

This is so true. And me in a nutshell. I am the least patient person. Ever. But I am trying.

That’s why I found it humorous, when a certain person, we will change his name to conceal his identity by calling him Bishop PUNKale, called my husband earlier this week to extend an invitation to speak to you today. He asked me, “Can you not talk about yourself for 10 minutes?” To which I replied, “Of course I can talk about myself for 10 minutes, but being patient is most certainly not talking about myself.”

So in the last 3 days in which I have had to prepare my talk, 3 days… I have tried to think about the topic in which I am supposed to speak to you all about today. “How has patience brought me closer to the Savior, given me more meaningful understanding of the Atonement, made me more Christlike?”

Again, I laughed a bit because when you think of Sister Westra, the first thought that comes to your mind is definitely not, ”Wow, that Sister Westra. Man, she is one Christlike lady.” And I will admit, that I am not Christlike. But I want to be, and oh how I fail. But, I try to be a little better each day.

Honestly, I try so much more now that I am a mother - A blessing that I finally received after being taught for almost 3 years to be patient. My Savior and Heavenly Father were helping me to understand the lesson found in Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8.

1.To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 

2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 

3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 

4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 

6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 

7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 

8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 

Motherhood teaches you patience.

When I am having a particularly hard day with my children, meaning I have uttered these words on more than once occasion, “Keep your hands to yourself. No, we don’t lick each other or things. I have asked you more than once. Please get your fingers out of your mouth. Remember, we have talked about not putting anything up your nose. Your princess umbrella is fine in your closet, it is not too lonely or scared. I swear I am going to lose my mind. Honestly, again? Did you think that through before you did it?...” the list goes on and on, but most assuredly I feel anger or frustration.

Days like that either end in two ways. Scenarios 1 - I cry myself to sleep thinking what am I doing wrong as a mother that they just can’t seem to get it? How could I possibly control 8 different sets of 27 2^nd and 3^rd graders, while getting them to listen, the first time, learn something from me, understand that I am not out to get them or ruin their lives, and show me respect without any struggles, but my own 3 just push me to my absolute breaking point. Then, I read dumb articles I have pinned on Pinterest that say, “How to Be a Better Parent,” or “Get Them to Listen Without Yelling.” 

Or scenario 2 - I think to myself after having read family scriptures, how there was a passage right there for me or for my kids to help us gain perspective or guidance. Or, I think about how many times have I personally screwed up, over and over again, doing the same dumb things, and my Heavenly Father and my compassionate elder brother Jesus Christ still love me, most importantly, without anger or frustration.

Henry B. Eyring said, “Most people who are carrying heavy loads begin to doubt themselves and their own worth. We lighten their loads as we are patient with their weaknesses and celebrate whatever goodness we can see in them. The Lord does that.”

Don’t we do this as mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers? Don’t we try to do this when we serve those who are struggling, love those in need of comfort, and rejoice with those when a cheering section is what they need most? I know that I try and do this as a mother, and as parents, my Sugar and I try our best to instill this simple principle in our 3 children, even though we aren’t always successful. But still, we try.

Knowing this helps me understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He loves me so much that he took on all of my sins, forgives me time and time again, and is always patient with me. He will always be there for me, when I make a mistake to lift me back up. He will always be there for me to cheer me on when I am doing something right.

That is what a mother must do. Motherhood teaches you patience, along with providing you with a more meaningful understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

If you were to ask Addyson, Jacque, and Jacqueline, I am sure that they would say that their mother is not Christlike. That she yells and makes them read too often. That she has them do too many chores and has ridiculously high expectations. That she is not fun. That their mother is not perfect. And, to that I would say, well,

Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him but He deals with it. So should we.”

Our Heavenly Father knows that we are not perfect, and that we will have shortcomings. But He knew that from the beginning. That is why He sent His son.

Brad Wilcox said, “Christ doesn’t make up the difference, He makes all the difference.”  Knowing this helps me be at ease. I have read this talk over and over - always feeling the peace that comes from listening to the Spirit. I will never be perfect. I will continue to pray for patience. I will continue to pray for opportunities to understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ more. And I will continue to pray to be more Christlike as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

Gordon B. Hinckley said, “You have not failed until you quit trying.” I will always try.

It is my hope that I have covered my allotted 10 minutes in talking about myself (or possibly longer as my Sugar asked me to do.) I also hope that you have felt the Spirit here this morning, as that was my ultimate goal. I hope that I was able to touch on the things that the bishop asked me to speak on here with you all today. It is my hope that you will take the time to reflect on how patience has brought you closer to the Savior. Given you more meaningful understanding of the Atonement, and made you more Christlike.

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Cute wife of the Bishop whose name I changed

 We both spoke on patience.

Such a riot!