I am not dying. Well, I guess that is not true if you believe this...
The day you are born is the day you begin to die.
But that is a really morbid outlook, so whatever.
(Let's be more hopeful.)
But, as I sit here writing in perfect health, I feel like there are some things that I want to have on here - On this little blog thingy. I want these words on here for my kids to read. For my Sugar to read. For others to read at some point in time.
Why?
I don't know.
Just because.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring, and that's kind of.. well, another morbid outlook.
But sadly, true.
But sadly, true.
I want my family to know that I love them, love My Heavenly Father, and have a testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
So here is a talk I shared at church one Sunday a little while back on Patience at a time in my life when I couldn't be further from the word's meaning.
Still pretty funny to think about that I was asked to speak on this topic.
Still pretty funny to think about that I was asked to speak on this topic.
7-16-17
Good morning brothers and sisters.
I would like to share a few stories with you all this
morning, our last Sunday morning here with you in the Onaga Trail Ward. We
have loved our time here and will miss you all dearly. For the people in the
stories I am about to share, I have changed the names of those involved to
conceal their identities.
The first begins this way, “No Jacqueline, Mommy can’t open
the princess umbrella right now. We are in the bathroom. No, the princess
umbrella can’t be open in the car because it won’t fit with you and your car seat.
Sorry love, but you can’t take a nap with the princess umbrella. Let’s just put
the princess umbrella away until it actually rains, okay? No dear, no one is
going to steal your princess umbrella when you sleep tonight. The princess
umbrella needs to be put away nice and safe for now. Just because it is safe,
does not mean that someone is going to try and steal it. Your princess umbrella
is ok in the closet, I promise. In regards to the princes umbrella, I feel I
have told you no and explained, and so please, it is time to listen.”
Sadly, she did not listen. There were still many pleas from
Jacqueline concerning this princess umbrella.
Another day while driving, a boy named, Jacque was
frustrated with his baby sister Jacqueline because she was in the car crying.
She currently likes to have a fake cry about almost anything, but this specific
cry was about an owie she had. He asked her annoyed, “Are you bleeding? No?
well than, you don’t need a Band-Aid. That is just wasting. I feel like I have
told you no and explained, and I am older so I kinda know what I am talking
about, so now just listen.”
Sadly, she did not listen to her older brother, who was
giving her adequate council. The mother just quietly laughed as she remembered
that that same little boy had heard this information, time and time again when
he was young that Band-Aids are for certain kinds of owies that are bleeding,
not just for an invisible scratch, “that feels like my arm might fall off.”
Later that day, an older sister, we will call her Addyson,
was in her room, doing older sister things, when a younger brother, Jacque came
in much to her chagrin. He wanted to play anything with her, anything at all,
but she was not interested. She asked him nicely to leave her room, and he
ignored. He continued to pester until the mom heard Addyson scream from the
other side of the house, “Look. I feel like I have said no and explained, so
now you just need to freaking listen. Ugh, you are so annoying. GET OUT!!!!!”
Sadly, he did not listen. The older sister and younger
brother were both faced to deal with the consequences that had now come to pass
due to them putting their hands on each other to help express their anger and
frustration.
Motherhood teaches you patience, because these are common occurrences
in every household, every minute of every day. And if they aren’t then you need
to let me, or, I mean, the mom in these stories know what the secret is.
Motherhood allows you to see all your faults and ways in
which to help you improve, and quickly.
Motherhood lets you hear the things in which you have said
time and time again to your children, regurgitated by their mouths to their
siblings, friends, or others, so you had better make sure what you are saying
is ok.
Motherhood teaches you patience.
There was a time when I was so impatient about being able to
actually experience motherhood for myself. I would pray for the promises that
were special for me in my patriarchal blessing to actually come to pass. I had
prayed for feelings of comfort when I saw other mothers enjoying all that I
felt I was being denied, as if I was being punished. I would pray for patience
all the while being angry and bitter with my Heavenly Father.
In preparing for this talk, I found this quote by Robert D.
Hales.
“Too often we pray to
have patience, but we want it now.”
This is so true. And me in a nutshell. I am the least
patient person. Ever. But I am trying.
That’s why I found it humorous, when a certain person, we
will change his name to conceal his identity by calling him Bishop PUNKale,
called my husband earlier this week to extend an invitation to speak to you
today. He asked me, “Can you not talk about yourself for 10 minutes?” To which
I replied, “Of course I can talk about myself for 10 minutes, but being patient
is most certainly not talking about myself.”
So in the last 3 days in which I have had to prepare my
talk, 3 days… I have tried to think about the topic in which I am supposed to
speak to you all about today. “How has patience brought me closer to the
Savior, given me more meaningful understanding of the Atonement, made me more
Christlike?”
Again, I laughed a bit because when you think of Sister
Westra, the first thought that comes to your mind is definitely not, ”Wow, that
Sister Westra. Man, she is one Christlike lady.” And I will admit, that I am
not Christlike. But I want to be, and oh how I fail. But, I try to be a little
better each day.
Honestly, I try so much more now that I am a mother - A
blessing that I finally received after being taught for almost 3 years to be
patient. My Savior and Heavenly Father were helping me to understand the lesson
found in Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8.
1.To every thing there
is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2A time to be born, and a time
to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3A time to kill, and a time to
heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4A time to weep, and a time to
laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain
from embracing;
6A time to get, and a time to
lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7A time to rend, and a time to
sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8A time to love, and a time to
hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Motherhood teaches you patience.
When I am having a particularly hard day with my children,
meaning I have uttered these words on more than once occasion, “Keep your hands
to yourself. No, we don’t lick each other or things. I have asked you more than
once. Please get your fingers out of your mouth. Remember, we have talked about
not putting anything up your nose. Your princess umbrella is fine in your
closet, it is not too lonely or scared. I swear I am going to lose my mind.
Honestly, again? Did you think that through before you did it?...” the list
goes on and on, but most assuredly I feel anger or frustration.
Days like that either end in two ways. Scenarios 1 - I cry
myself to sleep thinking what am I doing wrong as a mother that they just can’t
seem to get it? How could I possibly control 8 different sets of 27 2nd
and 3rd graders, while getting them to listen, the first time, learn
something from me, understand that I am not out to get them or ruin their
lives, and show me respect without any struggles, but my own 3 just push me to
my absolute breaking point. Then, I read dumb articles I have pinned on Pinterest
that say, “How to Be a Better Parent,” or “Get Them to Listen Without
Yelling.”
Or scenario 2 - I think to myself after having read family
scriptures, how there was a passage right there for me or for my kids to help
us gain perspective or guidance. Or, I think about how many times have I personally
screwed up, over and over again, doing the same dumb things, and my Heavenly
Father and my compassionate elder brother Jesus Christ still love me, most importantly,
without anger or frustration.
Henry B. Eyring said, “Most people who are carrying heavy
loads begin to doubt themselves and their own worth. We lighten their loads as
we are patient with their weaknesses and celebrate whatever goodness we can see
in them. The Lord does that.”
Don’t we do this as mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers?
Don’t we try to do this when we serve those who are struggling, love those in
need of comfort, and rejoice with those when a cheering section is what they
need most? I know that I try and do
this as a mother, and as parents, my Sugar and I try our best to instill this
simple principle in our 3 children, even though we aren’t always successful.
But still, we try.
Knowing this helps me understand the Atonement of Jesus
Christ. He loves me so much that he took on all of my sins, forgives me time
and time again, and is always patient with me. He will always be there for me,
when I make a mistake to lift me back up. He will always be there for me to
cheer me on when I am doing something right.
That is what a mother must do. Motherhood teaches you
patience, along with providing you with a more meaningful understanding of the
Atonement of Jesus Christ.
If you were to ask Addyson, Jacque, and Jacqueline, I am
sure that they would say that their mother is not Christlike. That she yells
and makes them read too often. That she has them do too many chores and has
ridiculously high expectations. That she is not fun. That their mother is not
perfect. And, to that I would say, well,
Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Imperfect people are all God has
ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him but He deals
with it. So should we.”
Our Heavenly Father knows that we are not perfect, and that
we will have shortcomings. But He knew that from the beginning. That is why He
sent His son.
Brad Wilcox said, “Christ doesn’t make up the difference, He
makes all the difference.” Knowing this
helps me be at ease. I have read this talk over and over - always feeling the
peace that comes from listening to the Spirit. I will never be perfect. I will
continue to pray for patience. I will continue to pray for opportunities to
understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ more. And I will continue to pray to
be more Christlike as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
Gordon B. Hinckley said, “You have not failed until you quit
trying.” I will always try.
It is my hope that I have covered my allotted 10 minutes in
talking about myself (or possibly longer as my Sugar asked me to do.) I also
hope that you have felt the Spirit here this morning, as that was my ultimate
goal. I hope that I was able to touch on the things that the bishop asked me to
speak on here with you all today. It is my hope that you will take the time to
reflect on how patience has brought you closer to the Savior. Given you more
meaningful understanding of the Atonement, and made you more Christlike.
And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Cute wife of the Bishop whose name I changed
We both spoke on patience.
Such a riot!
