A Talk on Prayer

Speaking in church is always fun. NOT!

I hope that my girl was actually listening in church today as I spoke these words, but in case she wasn't, here they are for her (and my other two babies) to read later on in life. 

Prayer

I didn’t know what to speak on. We weren’t given a topic. Not sure if that is more stressful than actually being given a topic or not, but either way, I am sure I would stress. In fact, I know I would stress.

I kept trying to come up with a topic that felt right. My Sugar suggested some ideas, but nothing seemed perfect.

Until my daughter said something to me in the car one morning on our way to school this week.

Let me paint a picture of how her influential statement came to be.

On this particular morning, the 4th day of returning back to school, we were all stressed, rushed, and flustered. My girl got it in her head that she wanted to wear some necklaces with her cute outfit that day. Who am I to stop a girl with an eye for fashion? She knew just where the chains were, but couldn’t find the charms. She sat quietly and thought for a second (possibly offering a silent prayer), and then it came to her. She ran to her desk downstairs and began to search. She looked for a few minutes, shuffling the items in her desk around from left to right, until she found one. Pleased with herself she held it up and said, “See Mom, it says 'I am a Child of God.'” I smiled, happy that she found her charm, but even more happy that it was THAT charm in her desk, because I am sure there are many others hidden in there.

As she grabbed her charm, I was rushing everyone out of the door so we could take our “Morning Back to School picture” (I know I am ridiculous with all my pictures, but oh well, stop judging!), she placed her necklace and the not-yet-attached-charm on the inside of the car door just resting them both on the handle. I did not know that this is where she placed them. I came from behind, shutting the car door, hurrying to take the picture so that we would not be late to school. Afton and Jack smiled. Picture was cute. We were good to go!

When we returned to the car, Afton opened the door panicked. “My charm?” She was fighting tears, trying to explain where she placed it and I quickly became frustrated. I asked her all of these questions, “Why did you put it there? Did you think about if that was a good spot for it? Why didn’t you just hold it in your hand? Why didn’t you ask me to hold it? Why Why Why?”

After I had asked all of these questions, I looked back in my rear view mirror. My frustration with her, quickly turned to disappointment in myself. I was without a doubt, the worst MOTHER in the world. I saw her sweet, distraught face and realized that I had missed an opportunity to really help my little girl. I tried to quickly rectify the situation. To undo all of the negativity that I had just placed in her mind, and fix it positively. I said, “Afton, let’s pray and ask for help.”

Try and picture her face as you hear her response. “Why? Heavenly Father doesn’t hear me anyway. He doesn’t listen when I need him. It’s fine. It is just gone forever.” THIS response helped me decide on my topic.

My little girl, who was just so excited to find her “I am Child of God” charm 5 minutes earlier had now got it in her mind that Her Heavenly Father didn’t hear her prayers, or even care about her at all. She had given up, decided that all hope was lost, and nothing could fix the situation.

I told her that Heavenly Father hears her prayers, loves her, and wants to help her. I explained that Heavenly Father can’t do it all however, and that we have to work along with Him. We have to be responsible and make good choices. I apologized for my reaction and tried to get her to see why we should pray, even though she was so upset. All of my words went in one ear, and out the other. She did not want to hear me anymore, and I couldn’t blame her. Who would want help from someone who just made a difficult situation, even worst?

As we pulled out of the driveway, Jack said, “What about our prayer?” It was his turn to offer our morning prayer (which takes place in our car as we drive to school), and he did a great job. He said, “Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day, for our families, and for Jocelyn. And please bless Afton to find her charm. It is special to her. She needs your help. Bless us all to have a good day. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.”  His sweet prayer, solidified my topic on which to speak on with you this morning.

Prayer.

Now I could go and share with you what Webster’s Dictionary says about prayer, and then compare it to the Bible Dictionary, but that is just the old school way of writing talks. I used the new school way to write a talk. A new form of references.

Pinterest. (Vicki Gibbs is totally muttering under her breath "Oh Jenn, Why are we friends?”)

On there I found a quote by Jeffrey R. Holland that says exactly what I was trying to say to my sweet girl that morning, but WAY better!

My girl was not willing to pray at the time. Her dream outfit was ruined forever. She just did not believe that her Heavenly Father even cared about something so little, or even a person so little.

At this point, I’m sure you are you curious about whether my daughter has found this missing charm or not.

Well, let me explain a little bit more about my daughter. My girl is definitely my child, and like me, she has the habit of losing things on occasion. Eventually we find them, but it takes some time. During that struggle, both her and I tend to go through the same cycle. Panic. Frustration. Anger. Desperation. Then finally, RELIEF.  That relief ALWAYS comes after we have calmed down and prayed - Earnestly prayed to our Heavenly Father.

Dr. Charles F. Stanley – a senior pastor of First Baptist Church Atlanta, founder of In Touch Ministries-  said it best.

I asked my daughter last night if she had found the charm. Her response was no. She went on to explain that she "kind of prayed yesterday morning for it and looked for about 13 seconds." With this sort of effort, it is not surprising that my daughter has not yet found the charm. She admitted that she, herself, has not earnestly prayed to her Heavenly Father about it. She also gave an exact answer as to how much time she took out of her busy life to look for it.  Sadly, she is expecting Heavenly Father to do it all. She is not putting forth ANY EFFORT TO FIGHT THIS BATTLE. Another great quote I found on Pinterest, was by Gordon B. Hinckley. He said,

She gave up that morning, and allowed Satan to let her think that Her Heavenly Father doesn’t love her or even hear her prayers. I, myself, reacted in such a terrible way, that I only helped fuel this misguided thought. So quickly she felt alone, hopeless, and loss. As her mother, I needed to be more patient, and loving, like my Heavenly Father is with me. As He is with all of us.

It is my responsibility as her parent, as a parent, as member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to teach her the power of prayer. I began to feel really upset with myself for not only reacting the way I did, but also for not instilling in her the value, importance, and special relationship that only comes through daily personal prayer with our loving Heavenly Father. How could I have done such a disservice to my own daughter?

While on Pinterest, under the search topic of LDS prayer, I saw one of my links to my little family blog. It was about a FHE we did 48 weeks ago, titled #didyouthinktopray. I read through the post, as it had been some time since I wrote it. Jack said, “I pray when I need a friend.” My Sugar said, “I pray when I am nervous about my family.” I wrote, “I pray when I need to be patient.” – Ironic considering I admitted earlier in this talk about how I exploded on my daughter for losing her charm! And Afton said, “I pray when I need comfort.”

Reading their words, I sat and thought to myself, “See, I have taught my children the importance of prayer. They do have a testimony of it, they know how to use it and most importantly, they know why to use it.”

But although I have taught them the importance of prayer, am I continuing to help them strengthen that testimony of prayer by my example? Am I teaching them daily the importance of this question – Did you think to pray?

In primary, I always loved the song, “Love is Spoken Here.” I sing it regularly to my babies when I put them to sleep at night. My favorite verse is of course, the mother’s.

This song reminds me, writing this talk reminds me, and many experiences in my everyday life remind me that I need to be a better example to my children, and especially a better example for my sweet daughter, specifically about prayer. I need her to know that her Heavenly Father does love her very much. He hears and answers our prayers. All of our prayers! 

Pres. Thomas S. Monson said,   

It is my hope that you have learned from my mistakes, that I picked the right topic to speak on, and that you have felt the Spirit hear today. We all should heed the words of Gordon B. Hinckley, 

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

For speaking in church, I got to play with my baby in nursery. 

Turned out not to be such a bad experience talking in church after all.