So, I remember a big test I took in elementary school.
I can't remember if it was in my 2nd grade class with Mrs. Carter or 3rd grade with Ms. Alger.
However, I do remember being so excited to be selected to take it, because many of my friends, David, Dominic, and Anica were taking it too. We were the smart kids. I remember being nervous, but confident because I had never spelled a single spelling word wrong on any of my spelling tests, was one of the fastest kids on my math timed tests, and there wasn't a reading comprehension test that I had ever taken that had the ability to stump me. I was pretty amazing when it came to school. And I knew it, I write as I brush my shoulder off.
So, I took the test. Knew I killed it. And awaited the results.
My cousin Aaron, who went to a different school, but was my same age had taken the test too. He did not ever earn the same grades as I did, so I knew without a doubt that I would make it in before he would. I'm not saying that I thought I was smarter than him (Because I was pretty sure back then he was a boy genius), but I knew I had what it took to get into this program, because I was pretty amazing when it came to school.
The results came.
They came to all my friends, with good news for them. They came to my cousin, with good news for him. They came to me, with the absolute opposite of good news. They came in a little envelope that basically told me I was not as amazing at school as I had thought.
I was devastated. That devastation returned weekly. My feelings of rejection, disappointment, and as if I was the dumbest kid in my class, came back every single Thursday afternoon when my friends left the classroom to go work on, "Extra cool, super secret smart kid activities." All the while I was left in my regular old classroom with the other kids doing what regular kids do.
Turns out I was not amazing. I was not gifted and talented.
If you can't tell, this had a huge impact on me. I remember it greatly and I remember hated feeling like I wasn't smart. I always wanted to be the smartest kid in class before those stupid results had come in and I was determined to prove them wrong. I would continue to work hard.
So the next year came around and I tested again. Confident.
Determined.
Determined.
Ready to prove them wrong...
But for a second time, I was told that I would not be joining my friends at school Thursday afternoons in the G.A.T.E. program. For a second time, I was told I was not as amazing as I thought I was.
It's okay. I'm okay. I'm not still scarred by this whole experience from my childhood that may or may not be the cause of my perfectionist/over-achiever/neurotic behaviors.
Ha!
So, when Jack's teacher, excuse me... John's teacher called to tell me she wanted to refer him for the Highly Capable Program, I was so excited for him. She talked about his ability to think outside of the box to solve problems, his creativity and confidence to be different, and his overall intelligence. I was so proud. But I will be honest, all of my childhood memories flooded back in my mind.
He was so excited to show me the paperwork, and wanted me to know just exactly what it was for. Afton got it too, so he was extra proud of himself. (He thinks she is pretty smart, so that must mean he is too if he got it.)
I was sure to have an encouraging chat with both of them about how proud they should be of themselves for being recognized to begin with. We talked about how this test may be different from other tests they have taken and how if they get in, great. And if they don't, great too. All that matters is that they try and we are proud of them either way.
Jack said, "Okay Mom. I am just happy to do it. I am not stressing."
Afton said, "Ummm. I am worried that my friends won't be in my class, so maybe I shouldn't even take the test. None of them were referred. This is just horrible."
Two totally different kids. :)
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Today was his test and sure enough, he was happy to do it, and definitely not stressed. The instructor introduced himself. Asked him if he had any questions.
He asked if he wanted to do math or reading first.
Jack replied, "Math. It's my favorite. Let's do this."
After the test was over, the instructor said, "Your son has great focus." (My jaw dropped, and I may have high-fived the instructor, and not my son. Oops! But I did high five my boy too, just not first! ) "He takes great care to think through a problem and won't answer until he is good and ready, whereas others just guess. He wants to be sure. I am very impressed with his problem-solving skills. He is very intelligent and I am excited to work with him at our group interview in a few weeks."
After the test was over, the instructor said, "Your son has great focus." (My jaw dropped, and I may have high-fived the instructor, and not my son. Oops! But I did high five my boy too, just not first! ) "He takes great care to think through a problem and won't answer until he is good and ready, whereas others just guess. He wants to be sure. I am very impressed with his problem-solving skills. He is very intelligent and I am excited to work with him at our group interview in a few weeks."
My boy won't have the results for a few months, but in my book, he is amazing, gifted and talented, and of course, highly capable. (He chose his treat after walking past the Starbucks, thinking for a bit, then to the candy aisle 3 times, up and down, touching, inspecting, replacing ones that he has had in the past with something new, only to return 7 minutes later back to where he began - great focus and won't decide until he is sure.)
