Looking for Learning - "Like now."

Jack has missed our frequent learning activities.

Yes, you read that correctly. He actually misses the activities that I did at home, that I thought he could care less about. He seemed to show little, to no interest at all when I would try and review or introduce a  new skill at home (in a fun way, may I  remind you). 

But one afternoon he said to me, "Mom, we haven't done a learning activity since we've been in the hotel. We should do one. Like now."

My heart skipped a beat. I grabbed Jocelyn, gathered Jack, broke free of the confines of our hotel room, and we walked around trying to think of something to do. "Like now."

We wound up in this room. It's full of wonderful brochures that are full of letters. Jack thought of the activity all by himself. 

"Mom, how about you say a letter, then I'll find it on a paper thingy. Then I'll say the sound (it makes). Is that okay with you?"

Why yes it is Jack boy. It is indeed, "Ok." It's actually freaking awesome!

"Letter F. It says fuh, like in fart. Ha. I said FFFFart."

Even Jocelyn had fun practicing her letter recognition and their sounds. 

"He found us Mom!"

December 1, 2011 my mom bought all of her grandchildren an Elf on the Shelf. Reading this book and enjoying the magic of our elf has since become a great family tradition.

At that time, Afton was almost three and had a deep love for Super Why on PBS. She decided that our friendly scout elf was smart and fun like Super Why, so his name was selected. Jack was cool with it. He was TOO little to care, or know what was going on.

Every year since then, Super Why has come via the mail from the North Pole. The second year was so much fun, as Afton had a daily chore of checking the mail. She was ecstatic to find him in our mailbox on December 1, 2012. He made it on his exact anniversary of becoming our friendly scout elf! He brought with him a DVD set of "The Original Christmas Classics." My babies enjoyed watching Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman.

Last year, he was delivered, magically/miraculously. I was nervous he wouldn't be able to make it, thanks to me being bedridden, but Grandma Jones contacted Santa for us, and Super Why made it, just in time. December 1, 2013 was a fun day for my babies. They enjoyed opening the package he came in, and all the little goodies he brought with him.

This year, my babies had not thought about Super Why at all. As we pulled out a few Christmas decorations to bring over to the hotel, I knew they would ask about Super Why. 

I was wrong. No mention of him at all.

We walked by new boxes of new Elf on the Shelf(s) being sold at Target.

They didn't even care. No memory of Super Why.

I have to admit, I was a bit sad. I wanted them to remember THIS tradition. But, they didn't.

Until it was December 1, (2014). My girl was so excited to tell Jack and me all about the Elf on the Shelf that her kindergarten class got that day. Her name was Noelle and she was a girl. "She has such pretty eyes. It helps her keep an eye on the class."

Then on the way home, memories returned to both of my babies. And at the same time, they both had the same sad thought. "Mommy, how will Super Why find us? We aren't at our house? How will he know where we are? Who will tell Santa if we've been good?"

They were very concerned. (I was secretly happy.)

We finished the car ride back to the hotel, wondering about Super Why. Afton tried to help her and Jack feel better by saying that Noelle could probably tell Santa how they've been, if she remembered to tell her everyday at school. "So you better be nice to me Jack, or else I'll tell Noelle you were mean!"

When we got to the hotel we worked on homework, played with tinker toys, and tried to distract ourselves from thinking about Super Why. We decided to go down to dinner in the dining hall of the hotel.

As we ate, the hotel concierge happily walked towards our table. In his hands was a bottle of Martinelli's Sparkling Cider and three packages. Afton and Jack couldn't stop smiling.

Jack yelled, "He found us mom!"

Afton added, "Super Why is pretty amazing. And look, he even brought something for Jocelyn mom. That's so sweet of him."

He did.
He is pretty amazing.
He is pretty sweet.
He found us.

Polar Express

We had a lot of fun out at the Williams' Family Polar Express.

This was a fun experience together as a family, before the stress of finals hit.

Just a little outside of the lights of Las Vegas, you can enjoy the North Pole. We wrote letters to Santa, rode on the "actual" Polar Express train, saw Buddy the Elf come out of a magic shed (Jack's favorite part), sang Christmas carols on a microphone for ALL to hear (Afton's favorite part), saw Santa, rode a "wild crazy golf cart ride", enjoyed a horse drawn carriage ride, ate yummy chili, munched on sweet cookies and candy canes, and drank way too much hot chocolate.

It was quite fun and a completely free experience. The Williams family and Western Elite share the JOY of this special season of our Savior's birth with ALL. They invite so many to participate in these fun events all out of the kindness of their hearts.

They encouraged all who attended to share the Gift of giving, serving, and LOVE to all we encounter this holiday season. They hope to see so many pay it forward, and we plan to.

Thanks for a new family tradition and a challenge to #WEpayitforward.

"FIND THE JOY!"

Yesterday was the first time I had been able to go to Relief Society in over a month. With kids being sick, me being sick, and then helping with "Singing Time" (I was so bad!) in primary, I haven't been able to hear the messages that I've grown quite fond of since being released from primary.

The lesson yesterday was about "FINDING THE JOY IN CHRISTMAS." It can be a stressful time of year, and this year, for us, is on a totally different level of stress then we've EVER dealt with as a family. (It even tops lasts year's holiday season being spent on my couch!)

This lesson was just what I needed. I needed to realign what is really most important for our family this holiday season, but most importantly, I was going to "FIND THE JOY" in everyday this holiday season, and hopefully make this a daily habit for the rest of my life.

But, THEN today happened.

2:00 am - Jocelyn up. Needing food, her poor schedule is ruined.

6:00 - Afton up. Waking me up.

6:30 - Afton pulls Jack off the couch, then kicks him because "He was NOT doing an act of kindness by not listening to you mommy."

6:55 - Afton rolling her eyes at me, screaming at me because she didn't want to be getting ready.

7:00 - Jocelyn up, late, thanks to her 2:00 am feeding, throwing OFF our daily routine, which we so desperately need.

7:15 - Afton angry that we have to have cereal in our hotel room as opposed to walking down to the common area.

7:35 - Afton talking back and rolling eyes again.

7:36 - I snap.

7:37 - Guilt, frustration, guilt, sadness, loss, disappointment, internal struggle, guilt, confusion, inadequacy, guilt - terrible feelings overcome me.

7:45 - remind Afton to get together her Dance bag for her big recital tonight that she's worked so hard for to prepare.

8:00 - "I love you mommy," from Jack.

8:05 - Afton forgot Dance bag, requiring me to go back to hotel to get it.

8:10 - Afton still crying. Jocelyn crying. Me fighting tears.

8:25 - drop off Jack to school, he smiles, he hugs, he loves me still today. Finding JOY!

8:30 - stuck on freeway behind an officer driving 10 miles below the speed limit - no time to be late today because Jocelyn has a Dr. Appointment at 9:20 (complete -literally- complete opposite side of town)

8:42 - say goodbye to Afton and she has a look of sadness, but still never utters a word of regret or remorse for her atrocious behaviour this morning.

8:43 - Me questioning where I have failed at being a parent? How have I done such a poor job? What have I done wrong and how can I rectify it QUICKLY?

9:22 - two minutes late to Dr. appointment - attitude from young soldier - me deep breathing - searching for the JOY!

9:25 - Me filling out Jocelyn's wellness check packet and sadly discovering that there are many learning stages that she is currently lacking.

9:35 - discussing these concerns with the Dr. and she assures me, "Let's just get her checked out and then if there is something wrong, then hey, I (Dr. Saying this) guess I (Dr.) knew what I was doing. And that's always a good thing. (Dr. chuckles to self.)"

9:35 - phone rings - I ignore.

9:39 - Me fighting tears. Me fighting the urge to scream at her lack of bedside manner with a parent, again. Me shocked again at the experience I have when at the Base.

9:41 - phone rings again - I ignore. Still talking with the Dr.

9:55 - scheduling Jocelyn's one year well check and the same attitude soldier girl I dealt with before can't find me in the system, and asks me, "Are you sure you're spelling your last name right?"  Yes, I am sure.

9:56 - Walking to car to begin getting done ALL the things on my list for the day, and I get a text. "AFTON THREW UP. ALL OVER MY CLASSROOM. SHE'S IN THE OFFICE AND THEY'RE TRYING TO REACH YOU!"

9:58 - buying a LARGE Dr. Pepper - ahhh JOY in a cup!

10:00 - Jocelyn screaming because she's hungry, but I need to go get my big girl so she doesn't think I hate her for my reactions to her behavior this morning.

10:50 - Finally get out to pick up Afton, thanks to a large accident of the freeway. She looks terrible. Very pale, very sick. She says with sad eyes, "I love you mommy. I don't think I can dance tonight, and I'm sad." Now I'm sad even more. I cry. Then she cries. Now Jocelyn cries.

10:55 - I have to feed Jocelyn in the car seat while Afton lies on the concrete sidewalk right outside of school because "It feels nice on my skin mommy." Then she throws up again. She got it all into the tiny Ziploc bag (finding JOY), but it was still throw up. I can't do throw up.

11:20 - pick up a gift basket to follow through on my church calling that must be taken care of today/ beautified & delivered, and I'm determined to do it, because I NEED the blessings that come from service.

11:40 - Afton feels a bit better, and says that she can sit down in the post office while I QUICKLY buy stamps. "I have my bag just in case mommy."

12:15 - Finally next in line, self serve line, at the post office to buy stamps and the lady in front of me "Goes Postal" on the machine. Worker helps her, calms her down, and then she's on her way.

12:18 - holiday stamps in hand and I'm not going to be late picking up Jack from Messy Art. Finding the JOY!

12:35 - On our way to our house to grab something quickly, hoping to see the contractors working on rebuilding our house, as this was supposed to start today. As I run in to grab something, I return to have Afton just thrown up ALL over the  back row of the Acadia. All over herself, the booster seat, the cracks of the car, the carpet, the entire interior smells like puke!

12:39 - Afton gets completely naked in our driveway, not our garage because that has our new couches in there waiting to go into our house, once it ever gets finished. I don't want to clean up throw up in the house, so outside it is. I help her navigate through the crowded garage and into the bathroom to shower to clean the throw up out of her hair. Unfortunately, the water has been shut off at house. The contractors had been there in the am, turned it off, and now I have rinse chunks out of my girls hair by pouring a water bottle on her hair out in the grass in the back yard. She's shivering and crying. I'm fighting tears because I don't want to make her feel worst.

12:50 - I throw up as I'm navigating this labyrinth of a booster seat covered in vomit. So many snaps and straps ALL covered. I cried. I screamed. I was searching for the JOY. Searching!

12:53 - Jocelyn screaming bloody murder in car seat because I woke her up with my throwing up sounds then screaming on top of it.

1:00 - leave our HOME to return to the hotel, our new home away from home. I'm going delirious!

This was the most peaceful time of the day. Afton and Jack both took a much needed nap. Grandma Jones showed up to help. I didn't cry or scream.

Two hours later...

3:03 - Afton throws up a little and wants a bubble bath to clean up and relax.

3:07 - Jack wakes up, and now wants a bath because sister is having one.

________________________________________

It's funny. I stopped writing about my "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," last night at 11:00 because I just knew that it was going to be another rough night. I knew I needed to get as much sleep as I could to recover.

But this morning, when I awoke, I realized that ALL three of my babies had slept through the night. No crying, no throwing up, no sneaking in bed. We ALL got the sleep that we needed.

Then when I went back to finish the "Terrible timeline" of my day yesterday, a lot of it had escaped me.

I remember a few things that haven't yet been mentioned...

I was puked on. (I mentioned that already, but it needs to be recognized.) I was pooped on by two different kids. Thanks Jack for the shart while wiping your bottom. Thanks Jocelyn for a super wiggly diaper change. My sweet sister in law offered to help me, but I refused, since I'm beyond stubborn. I yelled at my sugar via phone call and text, because it was his fault this was all happening. (It's finals week and everything always goes wrong during finals! Irrational behavior on my part, I know. Love you Sugar.) I was able to complete my Relief Society duty. I got to the store since we were all about to starve here, especially Jocelyn without any formula. Grandma Jones saved the day, again. She read to my babies Christmas stories while they were nestled in their beds. We ALL got into bed, said our prayers, sang our favorite church songs, and got our nightly kiss on the forehead.

Looking back, I see now what the JOY of yesterday really was. Even when we have a horrific day, we ultimately still have each other. We still have the love of our Heavenly Father. He knows how much we can handle, and he will be there to help us if we are willing to ask.

I cried. I screamed. I prayed. I searched for the JOY in my day yesterday. I know it was there, even if took a little bit of time, and a good night's sleep, to recognize it.

Finding the JOY in all my days will be my daily goal. It will be tricky some days, but I know it's there.

I hope that you will be able to "Find the JOY" this Christmas season, but most importantly, in all your days of the year.

Happy 9 Months

Things I LOVE about you.

1. You smile constantly, just like your daddy.

2. You get excited and hold your hands together so tight as you raise your hands above your head, to quickly bring them down. This little movement always makes me smile.

3. You LOVE me. You still want me around and are genuinely sad when I leave.

4. You make me feel like I'm doing an okay job at being a mom.

5. You won't snuggle me, but you always do so easily with your daddy. It melts my heart. (I get a little jealous too though.)

6. You are decisive. You know what you want, even already at such a young age. You decided when you were done breastfeeding, one side at a time. You decided when you wanted to become more active, when the Doctor was concerned before. You'll decide when you want to be more vocal or when you are ready to truly show just HOW smart you are - in your own time I know. (This decisiveness has it's pros and cons for your future, I'm sure.)

6. You have the power to brighten everyone's day. I truly mean EVERYONE'S day. So many times you've made people stop and stare because your smile warms their heart. So many have shared stories with me about how you remind them of a special time in each of their pasts.

7. You're friendly. Waving and smiling at anyone and ALL that you see.

8. I LOVE how you're so much like your brother and sister in some ways, like the crazy order of your teeth coming in, my third vampire baby.

9. I LOVE how different you are from your brother and sister in some ways, like how you always need me around. You're a lot more demanding then they were, but then again you're fighting for my time and attention.

10. You're mine. That will never change. My Heavenly Father has placed you in my arms. He trusts me to raise you well, love you always, and help you grow to be a strong, valiant, faithful, intelligent, and loving little girl. It makes me feel special to know that you chose me to be your MOM when you were up in heaven. I'm honored.

Blessed to be your MOM. Blessed to have you here in our family. Just blessed overall.

"Are we there yet?"

I heard this question a lot yesterday morning. I told Jack that after we dropped off Afton at school, we would be going back home.

He replied, "To the hotel?"

I said, "No, to our actual home."

Ecstatic, "Sweet! Are we there yet?"

He asked 5 times on the freeway that we have taken twice a day for the last two months. He knows just exactly how long it actually takes us to get home, but he was just so excited that he kept wishing that time would speed up and we'd be there already. "Are we there yet?"

We ALL are wishing time would speed up so we could be back in our home permanently, but oh well. (Patience. I've heard it's a virtue, or some nonsense like that. Ha!)

When we got HOME, he wanted to "Watch a Flash, poop in my own potty, then do an activity. Oh, and eat some candy too."

So, we did those things.

Flash. Poop. Activity. Candy.

Jack has done a great job learning his letters and all their sounds. He had his numbers down, but we hadn't practiced them for a few weeks, so review was in order. He always struggles with recognizing 6, 7, 8, & 9 so I focused on those. 

Paper plate, clothes pins, and a marker was all we needed. 

I alternated the color of dots so it was easier for him to keep track of the numbers so they didn't seem to blend together. 

This was also an easy way to help out his fine motor skills, again.

Good practice and review.

Nice work boy!

"And then when we are done, we can turn him into a spider named Flash Jack Spider.  Now can I have some candy?"