Some treats that were long overdue.
Jocelyn totally invited herself in like she owns the joint. "I just love his house momma. His couch has crackly plastic on it, remember?" (We didn't go in this afternoon, but she remembers from back in September when we did.)
He thanked us again for our plant back in December, the treats today, and for always thinking of him.
He was so happy to see us, even if we are Mormon.
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This is just a little talk I shared at our church back in December that explains the title a little more.
December 10, 2017
Inviting Others
Good
afternoon brothers and sisters. I should probably say that we are happy to be
speaking here in sacrament, but I teach my children that it is important to
always tell the truth. So, yeah. It is our first time speaking in your ward and
I am assuming I should do the obligatory family breakdown of our little Westra
Clan.
My Sugar is
Scott, and that is probably the only time you will ever hear me call him by
name. He is a Navy dentist that was born just across the water in a little town
called Bellevue, WA. When the chance to make it back up here, where it is gray
and raining most days arose, he hopped on it. I asked for Guam as out next duty
station, because I love warm weather and the beach. But Bremerton was in our
cards, and so far, we are liking it. Even if it has become gray and raining
most days now.
My love for
warmth is basically because of where I am from, Las Vegas, NV. Sin City is
where I called home for most of my life, except for a brief stint at BYU where
my Sugar and I fell in love. I’ll save the sappy details, as I am sure my
oldest is probably rolling her eyes as I am saying this out loud.
We were
later married in the Las Vegas Temple and all three of our babes were born
there, in the desert. Afton is our oldest. She was baptized in March and has
loved her time in activity days, when she gets to attend. She has a very busy
schedule of school, ballet, and tumbling and hopes to add piano into the mix
soon.
Jack is our
boy and he is 7. He likes to be called John now, because he is getting older,
and it breaks my heart a little bit. He loves to play sports – especially
soccer and swimming, along with reading, drawing, creating origami animals, and
building with Legos.
Jocelyn is
our baby, even though she will be a Sunbeam the first of the year. She is shy
at times, but filled with sass and a large vocabulary. She keeps me on my toes
daily, and currently the cause of most of my headaches, but I love her still.
Our little
family loves any time we get together and we are excited to have some fun
adventures here in Washington.
That is not
to say that we haven’t already had some fun adventures since moving here in
July. We have had fun getting out enjoying our new home. Seeing the sites, exploring
the trails, skipping rocks along the cold beaches.
Another
thing we have done as a family, and mostly because of my childrens’ persistence,
is to take treats to our neighbors. This was something we did regularly in Las
Vegas, as we lived on a great street filled with wonderful people. They were
kind, loving, watchful, caring, and I would like to add, not members of our
church. Honestly, that didn’t matter.
When we
moved to Yucca Valley, Ca last year we continued the tradition of taking treats
to our neighbors. Which was a challenge as both houses next to us were empty,
and the homes were on huge lots. But still, we took treats regularly as part of
our family home evening. We were only there for 11 months, but we were able to
share little bits of love from our family with them. I would like to add, that
none of them were members of our church, and that didn’t matter.
When we
arrived in Washington, I was feeling mostly angry and bitter at the world, as
this move/home renovation was a challenge. Not quite neighborly, to say the
least, but my kids knew the importance of loving our neighbors. They had been
taught this important lesson since they were very young. I know, that usually when you move into a neighborhood, the established
residents will bring over cookies to welcome the newest members on the street,
but in this day and age, that is not very prevalent. And our little family
doesn’t follow trends, we set them.
So, my
children, forced us, to go take cookies to our neighbors, once our kitchen was
finally complete with a floor, counters, and an oven back in place. During our
first adventures out, we met a nice older gentleman, named Larry. He is a widow
and seemed very happy to have some visitors just knock on his door one night.
We met another sweet lady who lives with her daughter and her dog that “has
broken legs,” as Jocelyn likes to say every time we go by their house. We met a
son, who lives with his parents that was happy to receive cookies, but not
really interested in chit chat. We met a young man, who lives with his
girlfriend and parents. He happens to be a plumber and that is a great friend
to have as home owners. He has been by a few times to help us out with some
things, and we are thankful for him. We met an English lady who is sure our
street is full of crime and most assuredly misses the previous home owner, and
not quite a fan of children (which I have 3 fun-loving, noisy ones). I have
never seen any of these neighbors at our ward, which leads me to suspect they
are not members of our church. Which, to be honest, it doesn’t matter.
Why
am I telling you all of this? Well, because we have been asked to speak on how
to achieve the ward goals of inviting 100 people to church along with passing
out 100 Book of Mormons.
We moved
here in late July and have dropped off treats probably 3 or 4 times to some of
these sweet people. Just getting to know them little by little, being
neighborly, becoming their friends. Being kind. Which this world needs a lot
more of, kind people.
Of all of
our neighbors that we have been lucky enough to know in our 14 years of
marriage, guess how many have been baptized? Guess how many have asked to hear
the missionary discussions? Guess how many have come and sat with us on these
extra comfy pews at church? None. Does that make us failures? Does that make us
feel like we aren’t doing our part to share the gospel with them and the
happiness that it can bring? No. It most certainly does not.
In an Ensign
2012 article that was shared by Stephanie J. Burns and
Darcie Jensen, titled “Sharing the Gospel by Sharing You,” they stated some
important things that confirm that my family is not a bunch of failures.
These ladies touched on the fact that sharing the
gospel comes easy for some, but for others – like myself-, it is more of a
challenge. They suggested that we should, “become more converted to the gospel—as
individuals—and let the example of our lives and our friendly conversation open
the way. The more converted we become, the more comfortable we are with our
religion, and we begin to feel an increasing desire for others to enjoy the
blessings of the gospel. When that happens, sharing comes more naturally.
In fact, we may not even
realize we are sharing the gospel. As we increase the level of our faithful
discipleship, the effect it has on our actions, speech, and even countenance
will be difficult to ignore. “Your good works will be evident to others,” explains
Elder Russell M. Nelson. “The
light of the Lord can beam from your eyes. With that radiance, you had better
prepare for questions.”1
Let me add this. I am not a faithful disciple
with radiating beams from my countless good works. I am just a simple believer,
with many faults and issues, who tries her best to be a good person, to teach
her children how to love their Savior, follow Him, and help share His love with
others. Having said that, if I were to actually become this type of radiating
beam like person, I think things would be so much easier to share the gospel.
In their
talk they suggested 3 simple things to do to help invite others to hear about
the gospel.
First, become
a Living Testimony.
“As we become more
comfortable with the gospel’s influence in our lives, talking about that
influence becomes easier both because we have things to talk about and because
we can share what that message has done for us.”
They shared a story about a recent convert to the
church. She said, “Spending time with
members was all it took for her to become interested in the gospel. ‘The
happiness they brought with them and the way I felt around them was
undeniable,’ she shares. ‘They didn’t preach to me about God. It was simply in
their very being: their lifestyle, their choices, their actions and reactions.
When I looked at them, I said to myself, ‘That is how I want to live. That is
where I want to be in life.’”
I know my
neighbors see the crazy that resides in our home, because it is definitely hard
to miss. But, THIS is what I have always hoped and continue to hope my
neighbors feel when they see our family, are visited by us, or how they felt
when they received a special little something from us. I hoped that we leave
something with them that made them feel there is something special about us,
because we do have something very special in our lives. The gospel of Jesus
Christ.
Second,
become Friends First. “Successful
missionary opportunities are more likely to be found when members are just
good, true friends with others. As Elder M. Russell Ballard of the
Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “If we are open about our membership in the
Church from the very beginning, … friends and acquaintances will accept that
this is part of who we are.”4
Including the gospel in
existing friendships rather than basing friendships on sharing the gospel can
increase missionary successes.”
If I meet
someone new, I do not instantly think, “Great, how can I swing it, so I can
share the gospel with them to convert them?” Maybe some might think I should,
but I don’t. I first get to know them. For who they are and build an actual
friendship. Whether or not they are members of the church, is not important to
me. What is important to me is that they can tell that I, myself, am a member
of the church, that has no judgement on their life choices and decisions. I
want them only to feel of my love and friendship for them, as that is how I
believe our Savior would want me to treat them.
I remember when I was in high school, my young
women leaders would always say things like, “Be careful who you choose to spend
your time with. Make sure they have the same standards as you.” At first, I
accepted what they had to say, because they were my leaders. I tried to listen
and show respect for what I was being taught. But as my high school years went
on, I began to see some fault in their logic. I recognized that I had a great
deal of friends who were not members of the church. And there was nothing wrong
with them. They did not make the best choices, but they never forced me to make
those choices. In fact, some of my friends who were actual members of the
church didn’t make the best choices either. But my non-member friends were
clear of my beliefs, as was I. Peer pressure had never had an affect on me, so
I was never put in a situation where I was uncomfortable. I understand that this
is not always the case, so my advice is this, ere on the side of caution.
Choose wisely who you spend time with, be it member or non-member. But be sure
that you, yourself, are making the right choices so that others around you will
respect your beliefs, and still feel loved by you, even if you don’t agree with
what they are doing. President Russell M. Nelson said, “The Savior loves both
saints and sinners.” And being a member of the church, does not make you a
saint. Dieter F. Uchtdorf has taught us that we should not judge others because
they sin differently from us. We should be friends, good friends, who love and
strengthen one another. President Uchtdorf also said, “God will use you to make
the lives of others better.” I believe this whole-heartedly and I try and teach
this to my children daily.
The third
thing these ladies suggested to help invite others to the gospel, was to Listen
with Love. They said, “Friendships deepen as
individuals share their experiences, emotions, and love. And love, of course,
is a central part of the restored gospel.
We, as members of the
Church, can express Christlike love by spending time with our friends—through
activities, service, and conversation. In fact, many people are looking for
just that kind of friend.”
When speaking on this topic Elder Jeffrey R.
Holland said, “More important
than speaking is listening. These people are not lifeless objects disguised as
a baptismal statistic. They are children of God, our brothers and sisters, and
they need what we have. Be genuine. Reach out sincerely. Ask these friends what
matters most to them. … And then listen. … I promise you that something in what they say
will always highlight a truth of the gospel about which you can
bear testimony and about which you can then offer more.”5
Remember
our neighbor Larry I spoke of earlier in the talk - the older gentleman, a
widow, excited to have some people knock on his door just for a visit? Well,
the other night for FHE, we passed out poinsettias to 3 of our neighbors with
the little #lighttheworld card attached to it, and our name signed below. (Thank
you sisters for having some extras for us to use.) Sadly, Larry was not home,
but both my husband and I felt that we needed to leave one on his doorstep
anyway. (Keep in mind we have plenty of other neighbors we could have shared this
with.) Pleased with our work, we went home and thought nothing of it.
A few days
later, in the mail we received a Christmas card from a person on our street.
Used a stamp – sent it through USPS – when it easily could have placed at our
door. It was from Larry.
In it he said, Merry Christmas. Thanks for the
poinsettia. Signed Larry (the Lutheran).
My Sugar
and I both laughed. This cute old man was making it clear that he had no
interest in our Mormon propaganda! And guess what. That is okay. Our feelings
were not hurt. We will not stop taking little treats to Larry. Because he is
our friend. We have tried to get to know him, and we will continue to do just
that.
Sister Burns and Sister Jensen went on to say, “We don’t need to bombard our friends with
the gospel. We just need to be good friends and not be afraid to share gospel
concepts when opportunities arise. Satan uses fear to attempt to prevent
members from sharing testimony. This powerful emotion can be crippling.
President Uchtdorf notes: “Some would rather pull a handcart across the prairie
than bring up the subject of faith and religion to their friends. … They worry
about how they might be perceived or how it might harm their relationship.” He
continues, “It doesn’t need to be that way because we have a glad message to
share, and we have a message of joy.”6
It is indeed a glad message, one filled with endless
amounts of joy.
Brothers and sisters, I have not helped to invite 100
different people to church since moving here, and to the bishop, the members of
this ward, I apologize. I am very much a goal-oriented person, so this is hard
for me to admit. But, I have done these things that these ladies mentioned. I
have tried to set a good example in my daily life, even though I know I falter.
I have reached out to be a friend to those around us. Our interactions with our
neighbors thus far have been brief, so not much “True listening” has occurred,
but when the opportunity arises, I will listen. I pray for those opportunities
and I know that my Heavenly Father will bless me with them. I also know that he
will bless the lives of any of these fine people we just so happen to meet who
are looking to hear of the happiness that this gospel can bring.
